dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
