So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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