is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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