I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dicks are not precious.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
