The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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