Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
zippers are such a cool invention
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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