forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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