Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
