So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at about main and main street
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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