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New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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