I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
