This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
