Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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