One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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