At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
