No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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