Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
