Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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