ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
