I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My vagina just clenched in fear
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
