I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
