I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
