But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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