What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
