Someone shit on the floor
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
