One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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