Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
