There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I currently don't understand fingers.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
