and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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