your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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