I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
