So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
