My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
