If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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