My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
