people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
