Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
