careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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