i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
