these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
either way he was missing a nipple.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
