I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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