kristin has been a bad kristin
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
