When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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