White coat. Heels.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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