imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
