I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fuck appropriateness.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
