I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
operation have a gay friend backfired
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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