Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
