He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I touched a dick in church today
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
