She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's never too late to be topless.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
