Capitaan dildo arrescate!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
