if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
