You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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