I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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